Learning To Be A Friend Again

This is going to sound ridiculous so hear me out. I have a confession to make. 

I am almost 23 years old and I have problem making friends all of the sudden. BOOM.

Last semester I was really down and out because it was extremely hard for me to meet new people and establish friendships at UAB. I do not really need friends to succeed in school but it would be super nice to know the names of the people that I sit next to every day. At the end of every week Tony and I would discuss if I had progressed in the friendship arena and the answer would be the same all the time- "No no no no no". 

Eventually he stopped asking me about this little section of my new life at UAB until just the other day. We were riding in the car on our way to meet some of his friends for dinner and he asked me the dreaded friend question again. This time, instead of saying "no" I had a little more to add. 

Lately I have realized that I no longer ask those "get to know you" questions that others ask me. Instead, I sit there silently after answering the questions I was asked and move on about my business, content in my own little world. That is the problem. 

How many times do I truly mean "How are you?" when speaking to another person in public? Many often do I catch myself being an honest friend and diving in to meet new people in my foreign new little world?   

At first I thought that maybe I did not really care about the other students in my classes, which is totally untrue. Looking back at last semester now, I am not sure if I was all wrapped up in learning to be a wife or just adjusting from my transfer to UAB from LSU. However, it was a very difficult transition. If you are a new reader, you probably do not know that I am supposed to be graduating this semester. Regardless, after a few college transfers, becoming independent, working multiple jobs, and mucho disappointments I have moved on. Eventually I will graduate. [You can read more about my college journey HERE.] 

While I love being a wife to Tony, I also left a part of my heart back in Baton Rouge at LSU. Not only is my entire family in Louisiana, but so are many of my friends. I established some of the best relationships with phenomenal people while being a Tiger for three years. The wonderful people I met and the memories we share will forever be part of my life. [You can read more about my life as an LSU Tiger HERE. ]

I have never once in my life had a problem with meeting new people or making friends before now. I am not shy and have always been a social butterfly. Pretty much, I am willing to talk about anything with anyone or say whatever is on my mind at any given time. I guess you can say I am my mother's child in that respect. 

Anyway, these days I find myself more in tune to listening to other girls' conversations while in class instead of jumping in and joining. I do not want to be that random girl who butts in on everyone's conversations, nor do I want to be the girl who only talks about herself. I do not think of myself as being older or wiser than anyone I am associated with. However, as a wife and a senior in most sophomore classes I am on a different level than most other students in my classes. At times, I feel judged for being a young wife but I am getting used to the "old" or "indifferent" feelings because I believe most are not intentional. 

Either the majority of the students in my classes are women that are already wives and mothers or the other half of students are right on track with their progression based on their high school graduation. Yes, I know we all come from different backgrounds and we all have different situations in life that determine where we currently stand. But I am learning more and more that as long as I stand on the sideline and choose to not get involved, I will be "that girl" for years to come. 

You may be sitting there thinking, "this girl is crazy" which, may possibly be true. I tend to think that I can meet others well through my blog, when around my husband, and even at random group events in the community or church. I am slowly learning that I must find my voice in the social world again at school though too. In order for me to meet others, I must be willing to put myself out there even if ridicule or judgment is associated. In order to have a friend, I must be willing to be a friend that asks questions that require answers instead of those open-ended awkward freshman introductions. 

I feel as though this is a stupid confession. Maybe it is just a stage that you go through at certain points of your life. I mean, hello I am too old for all this 5th grade nonsense right? Then again, I think about all those times that my husband does not understand girl lingo (although he desperate tries).  Those times are when I should have established a connection of outreach with friends in the here and now. These days, I am just learning to be a friend again. 

This semester I must give some credit to the Lord because He always comes through in a season of drought. He not only provided a fresh start in this semester for relationships to be established, He also provides such a caring husband to encourage and look out for me. Honestly, Tony has my back no matter what and it is so refreshing to know his love and reliability as soon as I walk through the door each night. Also, there are some amazing, hilarious, generous ladies in most of my classes. I have found that I associate well with many of them for different reasons no matter their age or marital status. Some of the ladies are ones that I get to work with in placement and others I work with in group projects or presentations. 

Officially, I am no longer going to have a friend pity party with my husband. I am learning to put a little more effort into the relationships outside of my comfort zone. I plan to watch as the Lord works things out for His glory and in His timing, not for my comfort or in my time. I know there is a plan for everything and for now I am just learning to be a friend again. 

Proverbs 27:17: Iron sharpens iron, and one man sharpens another.

I hope you all have a wonderful day. Thanks for reading!  

As always, until next time- Happy Blogging! 

P.S. You can enter my Favorites Giveaway HERE. LAST DAY!! :)